Don't Sweater It!

For those of you who don't live in warmer climates, you may have noticed it's November. And it gets cold in November. Luckily, there's this great invention that I love, and it's called a sweater. And there are lots of great sweaters out there. Unfortunately though, sweaters need to be picked according to one's shape. I found that out the hard way when I thought I could wear big, hipstery, potato-sack sweaters with ease like my much-smaller, waif-like little sister.
I couldn't. It looked like I was smuggling watermelons under a colorful knitted sack.
And as I start to see sweaters out and about, I realize that looking for a flattering sweater is actually a lot harder than it looks.
Trying on all that knitwear can be very frustrating.

So, to make it easier for y'all,  I tried to match sweaters to body types. Then, halfway through, I realized that there are quite a few body types that affect how a sweater looks, such as:
1. Tall and slender with a larger bust. What do they call that? The Vertical Camel?
2. Short with curves. The Mini Cactus?
3. Larger shoulders.

Then I realized: Sweaters just cover your torso. It's your torso. So let's concentrate on different areas of the torso that affect how a sweater looks.

Let's start with boobs. It all starts with boobs.

Smaller bust:
Lucky jerks, you can wear all the high-necked stuff I like. Turtlenecks, crewnecks, boatnecks, the world is your oyster. Higher necklines tend to flatter those with a smaller chest, and makes you look curvier, something us big-chested gals most certainly do not need.






Jerks. I'm very jealous of all of you. You can go braless whenever you want, you can......Never mind. The point is, you can get away with a lot, and not just sweater-wise. Embrace high necklines, ladies.

Larger busts
Shoutout to all my ladies with back problems! Unfortunately ladies, we cannot rock those ever-so trendy, boxy knit things lest we run the risk of looking like a fruit smuggler. And no one wants to look like a fruit smuggler. The best styles for us are v-necks, wraps, and square necklines are for us.
Yum. J. Crew.

On wrap sweaters- make sure the wrap doesn't sit too high, or it could cut between your breasts and make you look like some kind of medieval barmaid. Play around with the fit a little.


Short torsos
I have only one tip: NOTHING CROPPED. EVER. If you have a shorter torso, cropped sweater will not only make you look shorter, they will hit you at one of the least flattering parts of the body, the stomach. Just don't touch crops unless you're planning to tuck it into something high-waisted. Pretty much any other length works, just no crops. Peplum springs to mind here.


Long torso gals, I can't really think of anything you can't wear.......Hmm.........Well, then go ahead, wear whatever you think looks best, I guess.

Prints
I will say a few things about prints.
Sweaters with wide, horizontal stripes might be cute, but they make anyone and everyone look wider, no matter the neckline. If this is what you want, go for it. If not, stay away.
 
Busy, crazy, Bill-Cosby-style creations draw attention to literally everything. If you're confident to go out like that, then kudos to you, hun.

Kudos.
Classic Fair Isle sweaters come in many different shapes and sizes, but they're a cold-weather essential. Shop around, look for what fits you best.


The only universally flattering sweater "print" I can think of is the oatmeal knit. Its neutral texture looks good on everyone. Just avoid the itchy kinds.




Well, that's all I've got for this week, ladies. Stay warm and pretty, and listen to Sweater Weather by the Neighborhood.
Ciao!

Style Spotlight: Eleanor Calder

It's time for the Style Spotlight, something that I just now made up! All joking aside, this will be a monthly thing that I'll be doing. I'll select one individual that I find particularly stylish, and do a post on any tips or secrets they may have to offer. This post features someone that Directioners will be familiar with: the lovely girlfriend of Louis Tomlinson, Miss Eleanor Calder.
For those of you who don't know, Eleanor Calder is just one of those people who wins at life. In addition to natural, god-given beauty, the 21 year old is intelligent, educated (she's studying politics and sociology at the University of Manchester) and has a ridiculously attractive and talented boyfriend who adores her.
But alas, I must digress. It seems that on top of the aforementioned blessings, Eleanor has also been gifted with a natural sense of style. I don't about you, but I have yet to see her in an outfit I dislike.





As you can see, Eleanor has a crisp, sleek style that's classy with a girly edge. I don't know Eleanor personally, (one can dream) but I'm fairly sure that you'd never catch her in a busy print or an obnoxious color, because that's just not her style. It's safe to assume that she likes classic, basic pieces that can  be mixed with anything and everything, like the peter pan top you see in the third picture. You could tuck it into fitted black jeans like Eleanor did, or you could pair it with a nice skater skirt and cardigan, or colored chinos and a denim jacket. This is a tip that I feel like everyone should follow. It'll save you money and closet space.
Another secret of Eleanor's that everyone should know? She knows her shape and actually dresses for it. She is tall and willowy, and wears pieces that work with that body type. Cropped pants, cutoffs, oversize jackets and tops, they all work for her. So for all you lucky ladies with a tall, athletic build, look to Eleanor for inspiration. I doubt she'll steer you wrong.
But what if you want to dress like Eleanor and don't have her figure? Don't worry about it. See the first picture at the top? It coincides with what I said my last post when talking about crop tops. Eleanor made sure she paired her crop top with a longer skirt so she was suitably covered. This look can work for anyone, and both pieces can be used for tons of other looks. (The whole classic/basic pieces thing comes full circle!)
Another look of Eleanor's that works for all body types? The Tuck.

What a handsome devil. Lucky girl. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah.
Tucking in one's shirt is actually a lot more flattering than people think. It slims your middle and visually flattens your stomach. Just tuck it in the front, and you should be okay.
One more thing of Eleanor's that I think people should copy? Her confidence. To the casual observer, being a superstar's girlfriend may not seem like a tough gig, but if you take a closer look, you see that Eleanor is actually a pretty brave girl. I know that if I received even a fraction of the hate she gets on Twitter, I would barely ever leave the house. (Joking, I barely ever leave the house anyway) But Eleanor seems to be above all that. Her relationship with Louis, and her life is more important than some pathetic Larry shipper cowering from behind a laptop. And that's a good attitude to have. So keep your heads up, ladies, and focus on what's really important, like Eleanor.

Happy Halloween, ladies. Eat lots of candy and watch a lot of scary movies! Or go outside and go to a party or something. Whichever.

Ciao!

Dressed to the Nineties

I'm one of those people who says stuff that they end up regretting later. Sometimes it's about music or food or movies, but I've been particularly close-minded about nineties fashion. I have said in previous posts that its ugly and tragic, and right now I am here to tell you I was wrong. As you may have noticed, it's coming back. And surprisingly, it's looking pretty good. With celebrities like Perrie Edwards and Cara Delevigne getting their nineties on, it's easy to see why pre-Y2K duds are making a return.




Looking good, ladies!
Seriously though. For a long time I just thought the nineties was the worst decade ever. But as I saw more and more of these looks appearing on runaways and magazines, I studied it a little closer, and began to realize that the nineties were actually a very pivotal time, and not just for fashion. Gay rights and AIDs research were starting to get more attention, more women were starting to join the workforce than ever before, and Nickelodeon was playing some of the best shows and cartoons ever created. (If you disagree with that last one, I don't want squares like you reading this blog.) If anyone hasn't seen the Dream of the 90's music video on Portlandia, google it, because in it, one of the character reminisces about the nineties saying that it was a time where you could just be yourself. I agree, and I can absolutely see that in the fashions of the time. After all this was when the grunge look got big, and nothing says "I don't give a f**k"
like grunge. See?


Do these girls look like they care what you think? They don't care. Grunge.
Another cornucopia of nineties style comes in the form of soap operas. Seriously. There's nothing I like more then taking fashion notes from some vintage 90210 over a bowl of popcorn. I kid you not. Inspiration abounds, see for yourself.
   





Perfection. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
And the best thing is, you can find nineties staples anywhere. The thrift store, the mall, pretty much wherever.
My suggestions? American Apparel, Topshop, and NastyGal. Their pieces have attitude and style, pretty much like the nineties themselves.
That being said there is some rocky ground being tread here. There is one look in particular that died back then that should stay dead.



 Don't ever wear these out of the house. Ever.

These are Parachute Pants, a late-eighties leftover that should have died along with the hair-metal craze. I'm only going to say it once ladies. Pants like these will never do anyone any favors. They are baggy, they are unflattering and they are ugly. I'm fairly sure that only the lovely pictured-above Miss Delevigne, who is a professional supermodel, could make these work. So unless you have a slender, athletic and/or straight up and down body type, avoid these. At sleepovers? Absolutely. Bumming around the house? Feel free. In public? Nope. Not even once. Unless you're Cara Delevigne.

Now that we've covered the Don'ts, it's time for the Maybes.

Maybe #1-Hats
The nineties were a great decade for hat companies. I have no idea why, but that's just how it was. And hats are great. However, like with any accessory, there are some you should embrace, and there are some you should avoid. A general rule of thumb?
If it looks like something Willow Rosenburg would've worn on Buffy, you don't need it in your life. Trust me.




I love Willow to death, but those hats just are not working for me.
That being said, some hats that were huge in the nineties that are still awesome today?
Porkpies are a small roundish hat with a thin curled-up brim, a low flat or slightly domed crown with a crease running around the inside top edge.

It works for both Debbie and Demi. (The girl on the left is Debbie Gibson, a singer from the late-eighties/early nineties. Ask your mom about her.)
Next are bowler hats, a hard felt hat with a rounded crown.





Werk it, gerlie.
Last but certainly not least are beanies. These are a bad-hair-day essential for me, but you can rock them any day, like Rita Ora.


These hats are great for any ensemble, nineties or otherwise. Just stick with neutral colors to avoid looking like Willow.
Maybe #2-Denim on Denim.


Don't do this to yourself. It will hurt you and those around you.
The key to mixing denims is making sure you don't look too matchy-matchy, like the above Chambray Sisterhood. Take a cue from Ashley Greene and mix the faded denim with something crisper and darker.

Add a porkpie and some Docs to this outfit and you've got an awesome look.
Maybe #3-Crop Tops
Crop tops got really huge in the nineties, mostly due to their appearances on shows like 90210 and  Saved By the Bell. I love both of these shows so much, it's not even funny.




Why are these a maybe? Well because there are people out there rocking crop tops who should not be rocking crop tops. I know, Body Peace is important, but once you see big person with their midriff hanging out, you never un-see it. Ever. If you're a bigger person who wants to wear a crop top, fine. Just pair it with a maxi skirt that can be pulled up and belted, or pair it with a skater skirt or high-waisted jeans. If you have the figure to pull off a crop top, congratulations. If you don't, congratulations anyway, you're an average human being who eats. My general rule of thumb is, if you have a muffin top ditch the crop. There are other, more flattering nineties staples you can wear that look marvelous.
Maybe #4-Overalls
 
I personally am not a fan of overalls. I didn't even like wearing them as a kid. But I can see why certain people like them. They're convenient, easy to put on, and in some cases, very flattering. Plus I mean, Alex Mack wore them, and we all know she was a cool kid.


If you're bustier though, like me, it just doesn't look right. But if you're flatter chested, go for it. Overalls are quite unique in that the can slim people down and create curves as needed. Look to the girls of Little Mix for some inspiration. They are the queens of overalls.

Work the stonewashed look, Jade.

Jesy goes classic with a faded blue look.

Lookin' good, ladies. It's a yes from me.

Now on to the good stuff! It's time to the Do pieces, such as:
Do #1-Flannel

Flannel shirts are a special gift from heaven that arrived in the nineties, first snatched up by the Grunge crowd. They can really go with anything. You can throw them over a dress, as shown above, or tuck it into some jeans or a skirt. They are versatile, comfy, and can easily become your own signature piece. If you really wanted to, you  could be Flannel Shirt Girl. You can do anything you set your mind to.
Do #2-High-Waisted  jeans
I used to tease my mom for years about her "Mom Jeans" but once at a sleepover, my friends dared me to try them on, so I did. And you know what? They actually looked pretty good. My waist looked smaller, my stomach looked flatter, and they really elongated my legs. I don't have to steal them anymore, because now they're all over the place. In a million different washes too. I prefer a sleek dark pair myself, but if you want to rock a pair in acid wash, go for it.


Did I lose weight? Nah son, it's the jeans.
Do #3-The Attitude
As I said before, the nineties were a time when everybody had just comfortably settled into being themselves, which is something I think we should all strive to do. Everybody was figuring it out and loving their lives, and they weren't all tied up with all the social media and technology we have today. They just went out and did things. I'm not particularly good at that, but I'm working on it. The point is the nineties was a decade of being unique. And that's pretty cool.

See ya next month, girlies, and while you're at it, tell me what you want to see next!

Ciao!

Fandom Fabulous

I have a confession to make, readers. I am a Directioner. I'm not joking. I love those five boys to death, and I'm  not alone. And even though I could literally talk about Liam, Louis, Harry, Zayn and Niall all day, that's not what this post is about.
It's about dressing for your fandom.
Fandoms are both good and bad. The good part? You can make tons of new friends via the internet. The bad part? Being in a fandom could potentially wreck your social life, your GPA, and your body clock. So it's best to keep a balance intact.
Now, it doesn't matter if you're a Directioner, Whovian, Swiftie, Gleek, or if you've been Sherlocked. You can still express your love for that band/show/person in a chic way.
You want people to think, "Oh, she likes that band. Cool." not "Wow, I bet she never goes outside."
It's actually more simple than you think. The key is to not make any fan gear you have the focal point of the outfit. Make sense? Yes/no?
Observe. Say you have a t-shirt you bought at a concert that you want to wear to school, like so.
 
You want to make it look like you just threw it on. No one needs to know you have several Tumblrs, Twitter accounts, and fanfics devoted to these guys just by looking at your outfit. 
There. By adding subtle color and texture with the jacket and chinos, then a bit of neutrality with the booties, you create a backdrop for not only the tee, but also the sparkle added by the necklace and bracelets. To keep the laid-back vibe going, add a casual half-up. Remember, the different parts of the outfit need to work together. If you put the fandom gear center stage, with no other pieces of interest, people will assume you're one of  those. You know, doesn't go outside, subsists on a diet of Nutella and Sour Patch Kids, fingers glued to her keyboard. And even if you are one of those, it's important for people to get to know you for you, not the band or show you like.
 Let's say you want to wear your merch during a night on the town. The same rules apply, but this time, get a little more fancy with it, like so.


 Boom. A night out with the Doctor. By adding some platform booties and a flashy necklace, this tank becomes a conversation piece.(Do a half-tuck into whatever bottoms you're wearing to make it appear more casual) A flirty bun helps keep the concentration on the top in a subtle way. Try to think of the merch as the icing on the cupcake that is your outfit. By keeping the base simple yet interesting (colored jeans or a cool jacket) and adding some sprinkles (one or two cute accessories, such as jewelry or a hat), you have an outfit/cupcake that is both original and appealing.
Another way to support your fandom? Don't be afraid to wear your inside jokes! If you see a tee with an expression or catchphrase that only a true fan would understand, go for it! Just remember the guidelines and make it the icing, and you should be golden. Who knows? Your outfit may bring out the true fan in someone else, which could result in a beautiful new friendship.


 
See? Cupcakin' it. Simple. Let's review.

1.) Start with an interesting base such as textured shorts, a pastel blazer, etc.
2.) Add your fandom gear. Make sure that it and the previous pieces work together, and that they draw equal amounts of attention.
3.) Add one or two accessories. A cute scarf, a bright bag, a blingy necklace, or statement earrings come to mind here. As long as they add a dash of sparkle, either literally or figuratively.

Now that we've covered what to do, it's time to address the Don'ts.

Believe it or not, there is someone out there crazy enough to make One Direction shoes.








These exist. These are a thing.
If you ever find a pair of shoes like these, One Direction or otherwise, do not buy them. If you do, you will be asking, nay, begging for ridicule, either behind your back or to your face. And you don't want that. Your fandom did not slave away on multiple social media networks just so you literally tread on your idol. So don't do it.
Also, dresses.




This exists too. Don't buy this either. Basically, anything other than a tote bag, sweatshirt, or t-shirt is just weird. Fan-print leggings, skirts, etc. Just don't go there. Harsh? Maybe. Truth? Definitely.

Also ladies, it's important to remember that being your own person is more important than any fandom.
You're a fan? Great. So are thousands of other people. Try to set yourself apart once in a while. That being said, isn't anyone else excited for Midnight Memories in November? Also, who's seen This Is Us? Comment with your thoughts, and tell me what you want to see next.
Ciao!

Announcement

Sorry, ladies. I forgot to tell you.......FASHION STRUDEL WILL BE ON PINTEREST! If you have never heard of Pinterest, google it and sign up immediately. It's a virtual pinboard, which doesn't sound exciting (at least that's what I thought when I first signed up), but trust me. It can get fun and addictive very fast. I'll be sure to post the link when the official Fashion Strudel page is up and running.
Also, I wasn't very clear earlier. When I said the blog was coming back, I didn't just mean posting. I meant that now, the blog will actually be good. Looking over some of my past entries, I've seen that I'm not putting everything on the table for you guys. This blog could be so much better, and I was just giving y'all the bare minimum, which is definitely not acceptable.
So from now on, this blog will be me doing the best that I can do.
Thanks for believing in me, guys.
Ciao (again)

Apology

I am so sorry, readers. I am the worst blogger ever. I've been making promises to myself and to you about posting more, and I've been treating you all like ditchable prom dates, which you most certainly are not. But no more of that nonsense. There will be a new post tonight. Or tomorrow. Yes, from now on, Fashion Strudel will be going full speed ahead, with more posts, tips and tricks.
Feel free to comment with what you want to see next, or more of.
Ciao!